Friday, May 26, 2006
Woman.. Selfless...
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech..... all the men started clapping their hands.......
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Failed in maths????
Monday, May 22, 2006
Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!
1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the
drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.
5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and
the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
7. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the
drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.
5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and
the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
7. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The PC's Prayer
Our Program, who art in memory
Hello be thy name
Thy Operating system come,
Thy command be done,
At the printers as they are on the screen
Give us this day our daily data
And forgive us our errors
As we forgive those whose logic circuits are faulty
Lead us not into frustration
And deliver us from power surges
For thine is the algorithm, the application and the solution
Looping for ever and ever
Return.
Hello be thy name
Thy Operating system come,
Thy command be done,
At the printers as they are on the screen
Give us this day our daily data
And forgive us our errors
As we forgive those whose logic circuits are faulty
Lead us not into frustration
And deliver us from power surges
For thine is the algorithm, the application and the solution
Looping for ever and ever
Return.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Mathematics!!
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals .
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals .
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Log-in & logout time in companies
Most visited page in the WORLD!!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Some rules cant be followed...
A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and asked him to come into her cabin. "What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."
"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
"John," the new guy replied.
She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."
"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Love @ First sight
Can anybody explain what love at first sight is? I know it is tough to define.
The picture below explains Love at first sight… take a look
The picture below explains Love at first sight… take a look
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Women.. as explained by engineers...
