Tuesday, January 31, 2006
"Just" Friends
Guys and girls being "just" friends. Not always easy, and sure as hell complicated at times. But yet, its fun. There are things that you just don't talk about with your guy friends. That's where the girl steps in, sweet, caring, sensitive - the little angels (hah!). There's also a certain playful element to these friendships that you just can't have with people of the same sex .
Here are some of the types of friendships that exist between guys and girls.
1: The Appeaser friendship
This is when the guy is head over heals for the girl. Worships the ground she walks on. Praises her all the time. Buys her gifts for no reason. Loves to secretly smell her hair. Agrees with everything she says, and does everything in his power to see that she is happy. Now and then gets a pat on the head in return. Dreams of fathering her children - will never get farther than perhaps having to baby-sit them. Might also have aspects of a Use-and-abuse friendship.
This is when the guy is head over heals for the girl. Worships the ground she walks on. Praises her all the time. Buys her gifts for no reason. Loves to secretly smell her hair. Agrees with everything she says, and does everything in his power to see that she is happy. Now and then gets a pat on the head in return. Dreams of fathering her children - will never get farther than perhaps having to baby-sit them. Might also have aspects of a Use-and-abuse friendship.
2: Leave-you-hanging friendship
Guy sees girl. Guy thinks girl is cute. Guy becomes friends with girl. Guy tells girl his feelings for her. Girl acts surprised. Girl might say "I'm not ready for a relationship right now". Girl conveniently forgets to mention that she doesn't like him in that way, and never will for that matter. Girl and guy still remain friends. Guy is hoping girl will eventually fall for him, or will become "ready" for a relationship. Never happens. Girl is just happy with the attention he lavishes on her - ego boost.
Guy sees girl. Guy thinks girl is cute. Guy becomes friends with girl. Guy tells girl his feelings for her. Girl acts surprised. Girl might say "I'm not ready for a relationship right now". Girl conveniently forgets to mention that she doesn't like him in that way, and never will for that matter. Girl and guy still remain friends. Guy is hoping girl will eventually fall for him, or will become "ready" for a relationship. Never happens. Girl is just happy with the attention he lavishes on her - ego boost.
3: The Missed-Chance friendship
Guy and girl are great friends. There always was a spark, the chemistry was there. For reasons unknown to them, they always held a special place in each other's lives. No one acted upon it though, and before you know it, girl gets married. Guy is still friends with girl - thinks the world of her. Friendship grows even stronger.
Guy and girl are great friends. There always was a spark, the chemistry was there. For reasons unknown to them, they always held a special place in each other's lives. No one acted upon it though, and before you know it, girl gets married. Guy is still friends with girl - thinks the world of her. Friendship grows even stronger.
4: The Relationship-that's-not-quite-a-relationship friendship
Guy and girl think they are best friends. While in actual fact, they are in a non-physical relationship. They do everything a couple does. Go to movies together, have candle-light dinners, strolls on the beach, endless phone conversations etc etc. But no one has admitted their feelings. Both are in denial that there is anything but a friendship going on. The rest of the world is sure they are going out. For the life of them, they can't understand why.
Guy and girl think they are best friends. While in actual fact, they are in a non-physical relationship. They do everything a couple does. Go to movies together, have candle-light dinners, strolls on the beach, endless phone conversations etc etc. But no one has admitted their feelings. Both are in denial that there is anything but a friendship going on. The rest of the world is sure they are going out. For the life of them, they can't understand why.
5: The Use-and-abuse friendship
Guy is in love with girl. Girl knows this and loves the power she has. Takes advantage of poor guy, who is more than happy that he can be off service to her. Girl uses guy cruelly, and the best part is, she gets him to 'volunteer' to do things for her. How? "I have to drop off my dirty laundry to the laundromat. But I'm so tired. I wish I didn't have to go?" Followed by fluttering of the eyes. Before you can say "use-and-abuse", guy is already racing to the laundromat with her clothes.
Guy is in love with girl. Girl knows this and loves the power she has. Takes advantage of poor guy, who is more than happy that he can be off service to her. Girl uses guy cruelly, and the best part is, she gets him to 'volunteer' to do things for her. How? "I have to drop off my dirty laundry to the laundromat. But I'm so tired. I wish I didn't have to go?" Followed by fluttering of the eyes. Before you can say "use-and-abuse", guy is already racing to the laundromat with her clothes.
6: The Complain-a-friend friendship
This is where the girl only remembers the guy, when she needs to complain about something. She calls him, or meets him, simply to vent about her problems. Guy may try to slip in something about himself, but girl is too self-absorbed to realise that, and brings the topic back to her problems. Girl keeps guy in check by telling him what a great listener he is, and none of her other friends are like that. Guy gets his doggy biscuit.
This is where the girl only remembers the guy, when she needs to complain about something. She calls him, or meets him, simply to vent about her problems. Guy may try to slip in something about himself, but girl is too self-absorbed to realise that, and brings the topic back to her problems. Girl keeps guy in check by telling him what a great listener he is, and none of her other friends are like that. Guy gets his doggy biscuit.
7: The By-my-rules-only friendship
This friendship can be in conjunction with any of the other types of friendships. Girl will only meet guy on her terms. Girl has full rights to cancel appointments that she made herself last minute. Girl also doesn't need to return any calls made by the guy, but guy must be available at the snap of her fingers. Guy should expect nothing, except what girl decides to offer him. Take it or leave it.
This friendship can be in conjunction with any of the other types of friendships. Girl will only meet guy on her terms. Girl has full rights to cancel appointments that she made herself last minute. Girl also doesn't need to return any calls made by the guy, but guy must be available at the snap of her fingers. Guy should expect nothing, except what girl decides to offer him. Take it or leave it.
8: The cozy friendship
This is when guy and girl are great friends. They're totally comfortable in each other's company, and have deep respect and trust for each other. They can speak their mind, and be at ease with silence. They don't get overly emotional, and respect each others space and time. Can talk about absolutely anything under the sun. Guy and girl don't think of each other in a romantic way - never crosses their mind. Has the potential to become ugly if one of them does start developing feelings.
This is when guy and girl are great friends. They're totally comfortable in each other's company, and have deep respect and trust for each other. They can speak their mind, and be at ease with silence. They don't get overly emotional, and respect each others space and time. Can talk about absolutely anything under the sun. Guy and girl don't think of each other in a romantic way - never crosses their mind. Has the potential to become ugly if one of them does start developing feelings.
9: The Hit-and-run friendship
This is an explosive friendship. Guy and girl become friends very quickly. They spend an insane amount of time together, and really dig each other's company. Guy thinks girl likes him, and is leading him on. Makes his move and professes his love for her. She runs like there is no tomorrow.
This is an explosive friendship. Guy and girl become friends very quickly. They spend an insane amount of time together, and really dig each other's company. Guy thinks girl likes him, and is leading him on. Makes his move and professes his love for her. She runs like there is no tomorrow.
Appendix: The ex-lover friendship
This type of friendship doesn't exist. Don't fool yourselves. A guy and girl can't be just friends if they had a history together.
This type of friendship doesn't exist. Don't fool yourselves. A guy and girl can't be just friends if they had a history together.
Now u decide wht kind of a friendship u share with the person u were thinking abt while u were reading this, don't deny, u were thinking abt someone ;-)
